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Writings by Ravenshymn

Depression and Strength by Violin100

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Submitted on
March 9, 2013
File Size
1.1 KB


71 (who?)

In The Rainfall

Beyond repressed
Dripping with blame

Thoughts erupt
Pain expressed
Bound by hate

I felt...
I felt...
I felt your anger

I held...
I held...
I held my pieces together
I always wait for the right moment-
To finally break down

I need the pain to flow perfect-
To let it all out

I'm reaching for my tainted core / I won't let you corrupt me anymore
You will not be a part of me / This is not how it's going to be

I always wait for the oncoming storm-
That's the only time

Endure it all until the promised calm-
Just to call it mine
Set free
Scars erased
I am myself again

Grief released
Clouds dissipate
You're gone with the rain

I am...
I am...
I am my own protection

I can...
I can...
I can rise above the destruction
Wickedness shall not rule me
Guilt will not control my memories
Stock image - by :iconwolfcatstock:
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This poem is written for my project, titled - "The Other Side Of The Sky"
In volume one: Memories Of One

Check out the other poem - In The Snowfall
In The Snowfall

I remember it
As if it was just last night
Our surroundings were lit
Illuminated by the surfaces covered in white

The way you smiled
It gave me comfort inside
And my heart seemed to be veiled
Knowing you have become a part of my life
Step   by   step
I stopped blinking
As   we   tread
I ceased breathing
Chills   were   sent
Our hands touching
Our   lips   met

Gazing at you is a must
You curiously peered up
As snowflakes danced down towards us
And it dawned on me that I was madly in love

Mesmerizing   my   soul
Spreading a calming warmth
Into   my   core
I held you in my arms
I   felt   whole
Connected our hearts

Check out the template I used for writing, it's from my dark series ---> I'm Almost There
I'm Almost There

Strung out
But sober
Drunk with rage

Broken down
The oppressor
Altered by pain

They say...
They say...
They say the prison is here to save us!

To cage...
To cage...
To cage up the thoughts that are dangerous!
Weeping for the hollowed
Can't live through tomorrow

My pride I swallowed
And I put on cold smile

My choice is my own
An addiction to being hurt

I want help, but I don't
I wanna change, but I won't

I have too many dark secrets
Flowing in my veins of concrete

This is what they've done to me
The product I like to call "a perfect tragedy."
Blank stare
Too peaceful
Syncing with blame

A mirror
So pitiful
Soon to

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Watch me if you think that you might like my future work.
:iconhollowfiedlife: :iconimmortalizedlies: :iconominoushero: :iconrainbowizedsky:
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Short, terse, and almost curt in the way at the beginning, then flowing into an-almost narrative in the middle, In the Rainfall by RainbowizedSky is an extraordinarily unique poem--if it can even be as clearly classified as that.

The first two stanzas are vague in meaning but intense in emotion, conveying images to the reader like brief vivid snapshots. The enjambment causes a sense of abruptness, of loss and missing pieces. The next two stanzas then move into a pattern that can be eventually found in the last two stanzas, which create a sensation of moving forward. The middle, however, is the most intriguing. Reading almost like song lyrics, it flows from one line to the next, luring the reader to consider carefully what the author wants to say.

In the Rainfall is fragmented, disjointed, and may strike some as not at all their taste. It has to be said that perhaps this style of poetry may not appeal to everyone. However, it certainly keeps me reading, and that is, I think, the crux of the matter.
What do you think?
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3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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prettyflour Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This has been Featured in my journal!

RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
That's so awesome! Thank you!
DangoLovesYou Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student Writer
An unordinary piece, to be sure.

The most obvious characteristic that sets this poem apart is definitely the formatting. A bold choice, but it pays. The formatting did an excellent job of accenting the ideas, and putting additional depth behind the words. The words themselves were well-chosen and organized. An expressive set, without a doubt, and they expressed all the right things: the challenging, slightly conflicting emotions, the simple chaos of the scene, etc. The poem had an interesting flow and tone, with the variance of line length and complex, interwoven patterns, but I think they were appropriate for the piece. The combination of the flow, tone, diction, and formatting, put up a very powerful front. If they were mixed this way in another context, I would say it was a bit too overwhelming. I think in this instance, though, that overpowering force is appropriate, and wise.

If I had to pick one word, I would say this is bold. You definitely took some risks, but I can't say they didn't hold up.

My only negative commentary would have to be about volume. It may just be me, but I couldn't tell if the moment was supposed to be loud and crashing and intimidating, or silent and empty, if that makes any sense.

Excellent job! 4.5/5
RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This template, or should I say layout, is from another poem I wrote. Sometimes- I write a poem a certain way, and I'd be like "Hey...I kind of liked that style." I would go back and use it for an upcoming poem, or a series of poems that relate to each other. Its hard though, sometimes, because the template doesn't always match the emotion and meaning of the poem. The original template only fit for the original poem it was constructed for. That's maybe why you were able to tell if the lines were supposed to feel a certain way.
If I were to try and explain it clearly- the first part before the dash "-" it's as if someone just finished yelling and getting angry at you. You're like still processing it and trying to cope in the aftermath, so it would be like you're silently remembering what just happened.

The middle part is like you're explaining what you do to deal with the hurt that has been bestowed. I should saying saying you and you're, so I'll just say the protagonist. The "protagonist" explains the habit of crying when it starts raining or storming. Just think of all of that hurt being released all at once. It's like a torrent of water ripping through something so fragile. So the middle part would be considered "loud" or something of that nature.

And the last part after the "-" would be considered calming. It's the calm after the "storm" so to say. The protagonist needs to fall down eventually to be able to get back up another day.
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug?
RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I ....need a bear hug...
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Student Writer
*bear-hugs you*
RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Awwww <3
Fb-PHE13 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing poem.
RecoloringLife Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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